In the last year, I have been taught the hard way about giving into my red-hot impulse to say something needlessly judgmental. The surrender to impulse and need for someone to hear me express my anger, has earned me nothing but the silent treatment. All I wanted was for a certain person (my wife) to join me in agreement.
Much of this comes from the feeling and perception of loneliness. The occurrence of anger has a lot to do with a situation where a person sees few or no options. If I’m pissed about a person’s behavior, it usually has to do with how view it as a personal inconvenience. Or whatever a person says may pose a threat to what I hold dear. My beliefs are contradicted.
It is only when I take the step forward into an action which has nothing to do with the source of anger, I can get from red-hot to cool much faster.