Tag Archives: goal-setting

The Imaginary Sniper


What do you see when your fingers are propped above the keyboard in the

anticipation of writing a post or story?  Anyone could logically say there is a blank space or page.  And while this is true, there are many of us who tend to imagine the onset of disaster if a mistake is made.  Maybe you type a letter or word that just doesn’t seem right.  Maybe you end up writing a whole sentence that doesn’t fit.  It’s called an error.  You can fix this.

Writing a grammatically incorrect sentence is far different from hitting someone in the nose.  Revising what you typed is a temporary setback or even a way to learn more about writing.  It is not a crime.  An error in typing is not going to bring on imminent danger.  I can tell you this all day long, but a lot of us will still think, feel and imagine an imaginary sniper ready to shoot us upon the first stroke of the key.  Why else would you sit there and think about what to say?  What is with the hesitation?

Writing is simple.  I’m not saying talent comes easy.  But the task of putting words on paper or the screen is an elementary function which most of us have.  Using your fingers to make words is something that human beings can do in any state of mind.  The ability to create a fluid, coherent message with words will only come with practice.  But the fingertips have to touch the keys.

To understand my claim about the imaginary sniper, try writing a story on a general subject as soon as the blank page appears.  Or get a notebook out and apply the pen or pencil immediately.  Don’t stop for corrections.  Just continue writing.  Pay attention to how your body reacts.

Advertisements

Olympian Factor Of Relationship Skills


Fasce Olympians

Fasce Olympians (Photo credit: Marco Crupi Visual Artist)

Ever notice how Olympic athletes bring on the “edge of your seat” level of anticipation when performing a feat which would most likely kill the rest of us?  About twenty years ago, I started paying attention to the kinds of events which starred a single athlete either skating to a song or making a death-defying move off the bars.  And I have also read about what goes into accomplishment of such moments.

An Olympian eats, breathes and dreams the moves over and over on a daily basis.  The practice and honing of moves are a lifestyle and habit.  The observer into a period of this athlete’s life would shake his head in amazement and think “Wow.  Get a life.”

Why?  Because the life of an Olympian is not the life of an average person.  Average means influence of emotion and desires.  Average has no focused  path to follow through on.  Reaching sub-goals on the way to achieving an goal is not everyday and mediocre practice.  Devoting hours and days to a ritual that gradually trains the body to respond automatically to a certain stimulus, is not for the average life of just getting through the days until the weekend.

Quite a few people who come to my counseling office are familiar with the observer’s stance on the practice of implementing relationship skills.  For example, most friends and family members in any given person’s life are casting doubts and surprise when personal boundaries are announced.  The new behavior of setting a time-limit on phone calls with negative people is labeled as “selfish.”  And the therapy assignment to saying “No” to the usual requests at home or in the company of friends is sometimes met with astonishment, silly questions and the expression of anger.  This person is changing the game.  He or she (client) is not only working on a healthy relationship goal, but is also refusing to act like the same old piece of furniture in other people’s comfort zone.

In this case, average is not the rule of thumb.  The client’s determination to reach a healthier level of response to bullying or co-dependent behavior, will not permit the act of submission.  The remark “Well now you’re just being crazy” or some other kind of guilt trip will not influence the training.

 

The Wonderful Use of Numbers/ The Counselor’s Compass/ July


I don’t know how many other therapists and counselor’s mention the use of numbers in the treatment plan to the client and guardian/ parent during intake.  I find the practice very useful and an encouraging way to start the relationship.

There are such clear terms of goal-setting to spell out for the folks sitting before me at intake time.  “I’m going to help you with this behavior that is done 5-6x per day, 5 days per week and bring it down to preferably zero times or at least a smaller number.  This could possibly equal more time to do what you want and less time being in trouble.             DWP

Time management in psychotherapy sessions


Aside from making sure that therapy sessions are actually effective, I also want to facilitate conversation or play in a way that uses time management.  The Jungle Pack workbook is with the intention of helping other therapists tune into their client‘s struggle with themselves and each of the multiple environments (school, home and community).  The prompts which cover universal situations for human beings of any age, gender and circumstance are meant to draw out conversation items.  On a week to week basis, I and others in my field are faced with a client’s sense of confusion and struggle to set priorities for conversation.  I will go ahead and speak for the lot of us and say that a therapist’s aim is to help the client (or consumer) to quit spinning his/ her wheels and move ahead.  Time management and having an anchor for conversation go hand in hand for effectiveness in the direction of feeling better and out of idle.

David W. Peace