Tag Archives: self-awareness

The Trouble With Self-Affirming Statements


Michael Schumacher (Ferrari) leads brother Ral...

We are encouraged by many to produce inner-motivation towards our goals through the work of self-affirmation.  In recent years there has been the prominent referral to “I’m Okay and You’re Okay” kinds of statements.  Some of the self-help gurus make “positive inner discovery” a staple of their programs.  One thousand percent of this makes sense and is effective.

To say “I can” and then of course finish the statement is a very healthy and even courageous declaration.  It beats sitting crouched in a corner with your thumb in mouth, while rocking back and forth.  It sure as hell beats standing by and hiding your abilities while someone else takes off with the opportunity.  Do you agree?

What we’re missing here is the challenge to saying “I can” or “My strength is..” when much of life has been a focus on what a sibling or cousin or classmate can do better.  I will venture to say that the challenge has a lot to do with what communication many of us receive in these different environments.  Have you ever been told “Why can’t you be like..?”

In chapter five of “The Strong-Willed Child: Birth Through Adolescence” written by Dr. James Dobson (1978), there is the conclusion arrived at on how comparisons are made between siblings.  A child in the family or at school hears spoken messages by his adult leaders which stick in his or her mind.  An older brother or sister is praised for winning the trophies.  And at every turn, upon misbehavior of the failure to perform up to snuff, the other sibling is told “Why can’t you do..?”  And the competition ensues.  For this boy or girl, the focus becomes more about what the older sister or brother or classmate has, and less about what is yet to be discovered within.

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I Choose Desire


Anagrams of Desire

I’m glad you have decided to get over your pansiness and click on this post to read.  Desire is a six-letter word that often connotes some sort of carnal lust for a substance or even better, a person.  Such a word is seen on the front cover of romance novels and articles, which lead the reader into an underworld filled with the kinds of unmentionable activity between people.  I would even put “desire” in the category of taboo conversation.  Only because this is the result of a social mechanism we human beings have built to label and shelve our corners of existence.

I use the word “desire” to help put some emotional charge behind my priorities and to establish a point of entitlement in this respect.  In order for me to take ownership for what I see as personal goals, there must be an investment on my part.  But let’s move on to the reason I titled this piece with “desire.”

My gives me a verbal list of grocery items right before I am about to grab the keys.  There are only four items to remember and she knows that I can keep them in mind, all the way to the store.  She asks me if I need to right them down anyway.  I quickly reply “Oh yes” and go ahead to make a written list.  Yeah, I’ve heard and read about all the different ways that we can exercise our minds.  There are many benefits to keeping our brains stimulated with memory games and what not.  The internet is full of literature on how much better a person can gain in the prospect of health by pushing our mental capacities.

The thing is, I already put my brain to use.  One bit of clear evidence is in the making of this article.  And this is where the word “desire” comes in.  Instead of holding in my memory the list of fruits, veggies, bread and other kitchen items, I desire to exercise my imagination.  Or I simply choose to listen to the car stereo and really get into the music.  These uses of the brain help me further my goals and enable quality time for projects.  My projects bring enjoyment and quality development for life and family.  There’s no doubt of my ability to bring up the list in memory once I get to the store, but why waste such effort when it could just be written?  A few minutes of writing on paper can buy me an infinite peace of mind.  The organizational tools industry makes a bundle for good reason.  It’s easier to move on with the important things and move on when we’re writing appointments on a calendar and not letting these items take our memories hostage.