1. Taking care of yourself– No matter how you actually look, if you’re in the process of working on the goal of better health, then YOU ARE HOT. Any form of self-care is HOT. You’re on the move, presenting to the world a courageous act of saying “I matter! No matter what’s going on nor how I’m feeling, I’m shining my shoes and building muscle!” People on the move are HOT.
2. You Love people in spite of the behavior– When you are paying more attention to people’s strengths and potential, you’re HOT. It has to do with being smart. The great things about people are many times more abundant, than the few behaviors which offend us. Investing in what you love makes for more feelings of love. When you practice LOVE, you emanate warmth. When you emanate warmth, you’re HOT.
3. Doing your thing- You’re the one who spends time honing the craft or working on a project. And chances are, it sets you apart from the others at least for the time being. This makes for automatic HOTNESS because the activity draws questions. You are automatically HOT when people are asking questions. You are on the move. Even criticism about what you do is HOT, because the other person is spending his/ her time and energy on you!
We are encouraged by many to produce inner-motivation towards our goals through the work of self-affirmation. In recent years there has been the prominent referral to “I’m Okay and You’re Okay” kinds of statements. Some of the self-help gurus make “positive inner discovery” a staple of their programs. One thousand percent of this makes sense and is effective.
To say “I can” and then of course finish the statement is a very healthy and even courageous declaration. It beats sitting crouched in a corner with your thumb in mouth, while rocking back and forth. It sure as hell beats standing by and hiding your abilities while someone else takes off with the opportunity. Do you agree?
What we’re missing here is the challenge to saying “I can” or “My strength is..” when much of life has been a focus on what a sibling or cousin or classmate can do better. I will venture to say that the challenge has a lot to do with what communication many of us receive in these different environments. Have you ever been told “Why can’t you be like..?”
In chapter five of “The Strong-Willed Child: Birth Through Adolescence” written by Dr. James Dobson (1978), there is the conclusion arrived at on how comparisons are made between siblings. A child in the family or at school hears spoken messages by his adult leaders which stick in his or her mind. An older brother or sister is praised for winning the trophies. And at every turn, upon misbehavior of the failure to perform up to snuff, the other sibling is told “Why can’t you do..?” And the competition ensues. For this boy or girl, the focus becomes more about what the older sister or brother or classmate has, and less about what is yet to be discovered within.
I’m glad you have decided to get over your pansiness and click on this post to read. Desire is a six-letter word that often connotes some sort of carnal lust for a substance or even better, a person. Such a word is seen on the front cover of romance novels and articles, which lead the reader into an underworld filled with the kinds of unmentionable activity between people. I would even put “desire” in the category of taboo conversation. Only because this is the result of a social mechanism we human beings have built to label and shelve our corners of existence.
I use the word “desire” to help put some emotional charge behind my priorities and to establish a point of entitlement in this respect. In order for me to take ownership for what I see as personal goals, there must be an investment on my part. But let’s move on to the reason I titled this piece with “desire.”
My gives me a verbal list of grocery items right before I am about to grab the keys. There are only four items to remember and she knows that I can keep them in mind, all the way to the store. She asks me if I need to right them down anyway. I quickly reply “Oh yes” and go ahead to make a written list. Yeah, I’ve heard and read about all the different ways that we can exercise our minds. There are many benefits to keeping our brains stimulated with memory games and what not. The internet is full of literature on how much better a person can gain in the prospect of health by pushing our mental capacities.
The thing is, I already put my brain to use. One bit of clear evidence is in the making of this article. And this is where the word “desire” comes in. Instead of holding in my memory the list of fruits, veggies, bread and other kitchen items, I desire to exercise my imagination. Or I simply choose to listen to the car stereo and really get into the music. These uses of the brain help me further my goals and enable quality time for projects. My projects bring enjoyment and quality development for life and family. There’s no doubt of my ability to bring up the list in memory once I get to the store, but why waste such effort when it could just be written? A few minutes of writing on paper can buy me an infinite peace of mind. The organizational tools industry makes a bundle for good reason. It’s easier to move on with the important things and move on when we’re writing appointments on a calendar and not letting these items take our memories hostage.
Most of us want to experience more in life. We want to do better in quite a few different areas, whether it having a greater financial situation or increased physical strength. A lot of us can attest to wanting our relationships with certain people to make more sense. The only barrier to this, is the strength of ego. Ego is what has each of us settling back into a safe “reality” on a daily basis. Ego is the safety governor that works against every idea of personal freedom and measures of assertiveness. It is the stuff that throttles a person with tinges of guilt or creeping embarrassment when he or she is about to take an action, that goes against their yesterday.
The messages which give proof of a personal safety governor:
“I’ll look stupid.”
“They/ he/ she will think I’m some sort of weirdo.”
“I’m coming on too strong.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“They’re not ready yet.”
“I’m just being impulsive.”
“Have to do this first.”
The train of self-sabotage goes on and on. We rationalize that the messages and accompanying emotions are there for a reason and the doubts make sense. What doesn’t make sense is the restlessness and time spent looking back on what could have been. What really does not make any sense is the time spent bitching about the current state of affairs and talking about what someone else is able to do. It’s kind of like forfeiting one’s right to take part in life. When anyone of us stands there and says “I wished I had that kind of talent” while speaking about someone else’s accomplishment, it is the same as “I give up.”
I have news for anyone who operates such a premise. The personal ego “defense system” is blind to reality. Fear, self-doubt and inner criticism are based on expectations and beliefs, which are nothing more than stories fabricated in the mind. While still inside the mind, they are but mere shadows. Are shadows supposed to be the ruling body?